September 09, 2003

Saved By The Optimist

Zack Morris said it best- "Hey, I like school...too bad classes get in the way." That's kind of my feeling about work. The only things that keep me going through the day are the constant remarks, the flagrant insults on one another, and the sheer tomfoolery around the workplace. In what is supposed to be a 'serious work environment,' my co-workers and I have a wonderful time trying to contradict that. This morning I decided to write just a few of the comments I laughed outloud at, and I realized just how fun work can be if you make work fun.

(As a quick background note, I share an office with 'Mike' and 'Jay.' 'Mike' is technically our boss, 'Jay' is my counterpart. Any other persons mentioned are from other departments in the building. Keep in mind, 'Mike' is our boss.)

-Jay and I are working quietly, Jay is minding his own business:
Mike to Jay(in a soft voice): "Y'know, I've been thinkin...(begins to stretch)...I really don't like you."

-Jay makes a wise comment towards me:
Mike to Jay: "5 bucks says you can't take him out"

-We have had flies in our office for a few days now, they won't leave. Jay and I took the screen out of the window, because Mike continuously complains about them. Of course, we left the screen on top of Mike's desk:
Mike walks in: "What's up with the screen!"
Jay: "You said you wanted to get rid of the flies, so we're gettin' rid of the flies!"
Mike: "Yeah, and letting more in!"
Jay: "Well close your mouth, take a shower, and maybe they'll stop coming after you!"
I'm not sure why, but that shut Mike right up.

-Jay and I are counting some inventory in the warehouse. Jay is leaning over some boxes. Moments later, Jay disappears as Darren (the Dispatcher) pushes him into the abyss of boxes. It was a good 10 minutes before I saw Jay again.

-We are building a new showroom, and the showroom manager wants to name it. Her name is Victoria:
Scott: "I think we should name this Victoria's...Palace. I was gonna say Victoria's Hole, but it would have come out wrong"

-This next one I get on a daily basis, and give out just as often. A page is heard over the loudspeaker:
Page: "Victoria Line 1 please, Victoria line 1"
Jay to me: "you look a little busy, want me to get that for you"

-Mike comes back from lunch about 10 minutes late, casually walks in, looks a little guilty.
Mike: "I was driving down the road, and for some reason I threw my car into reverse. Took me ten minutes to get the damn car restarted!"
Jay and I laughed, and continued to laugh for much of the afternoon. Suuuuuure Mike.

That's all I wrote down today, not too bad for about 3 hours. What works for the workplace has got to work for life, and that's kind of what I've discovered. If you're the first person to laugh, everyone else is just following your lead. Sometimes laughter can make even the most boring job somewhat bearable. But after all, when you sell nipples and ballcocks, you kind of have to learn to take a joke.

Posted by jed at September 9, 2003 09:51 PM

How freaking hilarious ... the first time I've laughed out loud in 2 weeks, literally. Thanks Jed ... your sistah, and former Litco employee, Beckie

Posted by: Beckie at September 12, 2003 01:34 PM

Scientific knowledge, even in the most modest persons, has mingled with it a something which partakes of insolence. Absolute, peremptory facts are bullies.

Posted by: texas holdem poker at September 14, 2004 04:17 PM

The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways -- I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows.

Posted by: online poker at September 15, 2004 04:26 AM

The substitution of the proletarian for the bourgeois state is impossible without a violent revolution.

Posted by: best casino online at September 15, 2004 02:26 PM

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Posted by: free online poker at September 16, 2004 12:57 AM

There is no such thing as society....There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first.

Posted by: free online poker at September 16, 2004 12:29 PM

Our belief in any particular natural law cannot have a safer basis than our unsuccessful critical attempts to refute it.

Posted by: online poker at September 17, 2004 02:00 AM

I say quite deliberately that the Christian religion, as organised in its Churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.

Posted by: online poker at September 17, 2004 07:27 AM

Leibniz never married; he had considered it at the age of fifty; but the person he had in mind asked for time to reflect. This gave Leibniz time to reflect, too, and so he never married.

Posted by: free online poker at September 17, 2004 12:30 PM

Rome has spoken; the case is concluded.

Posted by: texas holdem at September 17, 2004 05:31 PM

Fashion is something barbarous, for it produces innovation without reason and imitation without benefit.

Posted by: free poker online at September 17, 2004 11:37 PM

In an uncorrupted woman the sexual impulse does not manifest itself at all, but only love; and this love is the natural impulse of a woman to satisfy a man.

Posted by: free online poker at September 18, 2004 07:19 AM

'I think, therefore I am,' is the statement of an intellectual who underrates toothaches.

Posted by: free online poker at September 18, 2004 12:43 PM

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.

Posted by: free online poker at September 18, 2004 05:56 PM

We have unmistakable proof that throughout all past time, there has been a ceaseless devouring of the weak by the strong.

Posted by: online poker at September 18, 2004 10:48 PM

Proper names are rigid designators.

Posted by: online poker at September 19, 2004 03:48 AM

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative on the day after the revolution.

Posted by: free texas holdem at September 19, 2004 08:42 AM

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Posted by: free texas holdem at September 19, 2004 01:31 PM

Progress, therefore, is not an accident, but a necessity... it is part of nature.

Posted by: poker online at September 19, 2004 06:18 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?