When we last left off, "The Rubber-Band Kid" was on the hunt for his enemy. After a few unsuccessful shots, I was starting to get nervous. This was no ordinary fly, this was a monster. This one was strong, smart, and quick, and his motive was revenge. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I knew what had to be done.
I heard my enemy flying overhead, like a fighter pilot with his target locked on and his finger on the trigger. That target was me, and I couldn't let it happen. There was only one thing I could do; I had to bring out "Red Steel." Red Steel was no ordinary elastic, and it was only to be used for special circumstances. I knew in my heart that it was time.
I spotted the enemy land across the room. He was unaware that I had him in my sights, and I knew it was now or never. I took careful aim, pulled back Red Steel , and fired!
WHOOSH! I missed! My enemy took off in a fit of panic as he knew his life should have ended. He buzzed around, plotting his attack, so I had to act fast. I jumped from my chair and ran for Red Steel. I saw him duck behind a wire in an effort to hide, but it wasn't enough. I grabbed my weapon, pulled back and fired again!
BAM!! I hit him! But wait?! He's flying away! How is this possible! I must not have maximized Red Steel to it's fullest potential, and the hit was too weak. I was surpised that I hit him, but more surprised that he flew away. I knew I had one more chance before my enemy would counter attack as he, too, was shaken by the assault. I ran for Red Steel again, located my enemy on the wall across the room. This time I used full power and pulled Red Steel with all my might. I stood, turned, and fired....!!
I could not believe my eyes. What happened was both amazing and horrific. Not only did I hit my target... not only did Red Steel realize it's potential... but my enemy, so smart and so quick moments before, exploded against the wall.
Seriously, it was so gross... but so cool. We needed tissues and water to dispose of the remains. But let's not overlook the true purpose of this story... the one thing (aside from an exploding fly) that makes this so incredible.... to this day I have successfully hit a fly 3 out of 6 times at long range with a rubber band. I challenge anyone to match my record, it's not as easy as you may think.
Godspeed!
Posted by jed at November 9, 2005 05:05 PMWhat, no pictures? I demand to see the suffering of your victims. How else will we shock and awe the rest of the flies?
Posted by: Chris at November 9, 2005 07:53 PMdrat, i should have thought about a photograph when it happened. unfortunately the remains have been disposed of so there is no true evidence.
the "rubber-band kid" will strike again, though, and next time i'll have a camera ready.
Posted by: jed at November 10, 2005 04:44 PMJed - I'm surprised at you!!!!!!!!When you were a wee tot, you never let me kill any insect, no matter how large, small, nenomous or whatever. Now you've turned into a wanton bug murderer. TskTskTsk. Have you no shame or remorse?????????
Posted by: granny at November 15, 2005 02:08 PMOOPS! venomous. Bad typing skills
Posted by: granny at November 15, 2005 02:10 PMwell actually, i still don't like killing bugs. karen can atest to that. i just never thought i could hit a fly with a rubber band... and i certainly didn't think i could do it twice.
Posted by: jed at November 16, 2005 10:33 AMAtested. There have been many repeat visitors as Jed usually insists on "freeing" the insects to just outside our apartment door instead of killing them and flushing them down the toilet like good mommies do!
Posted by: Karen at November 16, 2005 11:26 AM