January 20, 2006

Chucky No Lucky

For those of you who know Chuck, you have a pretty good idea of the unfortunate situations he often finds himself in. Now, I won't say he deserves what he gets... but yesterday, he deserved what he got. (Sorry, Chuck, this is a tale that has to be told.)

It started out as a normal day. Things were going on as usual, no trouble was to be had. I should have known, though, that a planned lunch with Chuck would soon change things, as anything planned with Chuck usually ends up in failure.

So there I sat, awaiting the arrival of the ever unfortunate Chuck, my stomach growling at the mere thought of the lunch we were about to wolf down.

The original meeting time (12:00) came and went, as I was partially expecting. "Chuck is often a little late," I thought. "This is nothing abnormal."

Fifteen minutes.... twenty minutes... Thirty five minutes....

It was about 12:45 when I started to wonder just how long I should wait. I was incredibly hungry, but I waited patiently, knowing that while Chuck is often late, he's usually pretty reliable.

1:00 came and went, and the stories about Chuck started running wild through the office. "For some reason Chuck doesn't own a cell phone," I proclaimed. "If only he had a cell phone, I'd know whether or not to go to lunch." (Yes Chuck, you are meant to read that and act upon it.)

Well lo and behold, the clock hit 1:30... "Jed, line 3 is for you!"

Indeed, it was Chuck, calling from the Waterbury courthouse in an attempt to argue a ticket. What kind of ticket, you're wondering? What happened to him, you might ask? Well, it is best described using his own words. This is the story, as told to me by "Unlucky" Chucky himself:

Judge: "So you're here for a seatbelt violation?"
Chuck: "Yes sir."
Judge: "Well, were you wearing your seatbelt?"
Chuck: "No sir"
Judge: "...that'll be $37.00."

That's right, he went to court in an attempt to argue a seatbelt violation. A seatbelt violation!? Not only that, but he had to pay the full amount, because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt and didn't even try to deny it! (Not to mention the fact that $37.00 really isn't worth a morning at the courthouse in the first place.) Furthermore, he missed our lunch and was an hour and a half late to work because of confusion at the courthouse, and the whole ordeal ended up taking more than 6 hours, only 30 seconds of which were with the judge!

Ah Chuck, you certainly find yourself in the strangest yet most ridiculous circumstances. Like the time we were driving to New York and a random guy threw his visine bottle at your window so hard we thought it cracked the glass. Why did it happen? Because Chuck was driving, that's why.

Or maybe like the time you walked into the Body Shop and asked the clerk if they "had any bodies." Yeah, that went over well...

I guess there are a few things we can learn from all of this:

1) If the ticket is less than $100, OR a seatblet violation of any amount, don't even bother.
2) If you're Chuck, pause... for just a second... before you do something. That one second will go by much quicker than a morning in the courthouse.

But, I guess that's why we love you, ya big dummy.


Posted by jed at January 20, 2006 09:48 AM
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