November 28, 2005

Poopdeck Challenges Return!

It started with a friendly bet between co-workers... who would outlast the cold of winter? Who would be first to buckle under the frozen pressure? Who would complete the Chiller Challenge, the first ever Poopdeck Challenge? In the beginning there was a lot of uncertainty, but the risk paid off... it paid off big.

The success of the first challenge quickly opened the door to more arduous tests of will and determination. A second competition arose which was much more complicated, and drastically changed the appearance of the contestants involved. The Unshaven Challenge was a grueling one, but all participants prevailed and it, too, ended in success.

The third Poopdeck Challenge was the first to pose problems. With only one contestant, the motivation and drive for success was hindered from the start, and for the first time ever we began to see some signs of failure. Challenge Melee was a tough hit to the libido, and the future of all Poopdeck Challenges were at risk.

When the dust began to settle, we found ourselves on a different coast, in a different town, with a different perspective. The 24 Hour Creative Art Challenge was a significant jumpstart to the almost dead engine which fueled Poopdeck Challenges, however it just wasn't enough to continue the regime, and the enthusiasm has been lost ever since.

That is, until today.

A new empire has been born; one which plans to rejuvenate and revive the crumbled ruins of what was once the most powerful Challenge faction ever developed.

Under supervision of my co-workers, I unveil to you the newest Poopdeck Challenge - Christmas Music-a-thon!

Exact rules and a special page will be posted soon, but basic guidelines are as follows-

Starting today, November 28th 2005, Christmas music will, and must, be played at all times within proximity of our desks. Participants include all four people who share this office, and extend to anyone who walks in or out of our immediate area. Music must be played at 'above average' volume, and it cannot be stopped for anyone, at anytime, for any reason. Music will be played starting at 9:00 a.m.(EST), and must not be turned off until 4:45 p.m.(EST), giving just under 8 hours per day.

I have done the math: 8 hours of Christmas music X 40 hours per week = about 1 billion hours of Christmas cheer.

As with all challenges, this one is open to the public. I know it's been awhile since the Poopdeck has offered a cure for boredom, but hopefully there are some troopers out there who will take part. Rules can always be rewritten, exceptions can certainly be made, but the challenge remains the same...

Non-stop Christmas music, all day, at loud decibels, from now until December 24th... how can you say no? It will be a difficult few weeks (just today we've heard multiple repeats) but we will prevail... oh yes, we will succeed. Poopdeck Challenges have returned!


Posted by jed at 03:58 PM | Comments (2)

November 25, 2005

Wax On, Wax Off

Daniel: Wouldn't a fly swatter be easier?
Miyagi: Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything.
Daniel: Ever catch one?
Miyagi: Not yet.

Very inspiring words from one of the wisest characters in movie history. You may not have caught the fly, but you sure accomplished a lot.

Konbanwa, Mr. Miyagi... you pretty ok, too.

Pat Morita Dies At Age 73

Posted by jed at 10:16 AM | Comments (0)

November 09, 2005

The Dramatic Conclusion

When we last left off, "The Rubber-Band Kid" was on the hunt for his enemy. After a few unsuccessful shots, I was starting to get nervous. This was no ordinary fly, this was a monster. This one was strong, smart, and quick, and his motive was revenge. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I knew what had to be done.

I heard my enemy flying overhead, like a fighter pilot with his target locked on and his finger on the trigger. That target was me, and I couldn't let it happen. There was only one thing I could do; I had to bring out "Red Steel." Red Steel was no ordinary elastic, and it was only to be used for special circumstances. I knew in my heart that it was time.

I spotted the enemy land across the room. He was unaware that I had him in my sights, and I knew it was now or never. I took careful aim, pulled back Red Steel , and fired!

WHOOSH! I missed! My enemy took off in a fit of panic as he knew his life should have ended. He buzzed around, plotting his attack, so I had to act fast. I jumped from my chair and ran for Red Steel. I saw him duck behind a wire in an effort to hide, but it wasn't enough. I grabbed my weapon, pulled back and fired again!

BAM!! I hit him! But wait?! He's flying away! How is this possible! I must not have maximized Red Steel to it's fullest potential, and the hit was too weak. I was surpised that I hit him, but more surprised that he flew away. I knew I had one more chance before my enemy would counter attack as he, too, was shaken by the assault. I ran for Red Steel again, located my enemy on the wall across the room. This time I used full power and pulled Red Steel with all my might. I stood, turned, and fired....!!

I could not believe my eyes. What happened was both amazing and horrific. Not only did I hit my target... not only did Red Steel realize it's potential... but my enemy, so smart and so quick moments before, exploded against the wall.

Seriously, it was so gross... but so cool. We needed tissues and water to dispose of the remains. But let's not overlook the true purpose of this story... the one thing (aside from an exploding fly) that makes this so incredible.... to this day I have successfully hit a fly 3 out of 6 times at long range with a rubber band. I challenge anyone to match my record, it's not as easy as you may think.


Posted by jed at 05:05 PM | Comments (6)

November 08, 2005

Hey Man, Nice Shot

Something incredible happened a few weeks ago. So incredible, in fact, that I'm unsure why it took me so long to share. A few weeks ago, I joined an elite group of people.

Move aside, William Tell. Hang up your bow, Legolas. Don't even try it, Robin Hood. There's a new sharp-shooter in town, and his name is... is.... well, it's me. That's right, my name is "The Rubber-Band Kid", and dirty, rotten, no good flies are public enemy number one.

With my eye on the target, and a single elastic bullet loaded and ready to go, I fired a single shot across the room, striking my enemy with a powerful blow that ended his reign once and for all. One shot is all I needed, one shot heard 'round the office. It was a proud moment of victory, a moment that will truly live in infamy. It will not be forgotten.

It's now been a couple weeks since the day of glory. Flies have been too scared to enter "Rubber-Band Kid" territory, knowing that I take no prisoners, and one shot is all I need. Today, however, his apprentice has invaded our quiet and peaceful terrain, seeking revenge and showing us that he is stronger and quicker than his master. I've fired off three shots so far, but all of them have missed.

I give him credit, though, as his bravery exceeds his motive. He came in close, within inches... nay, centimeters!... of my fully extended rubber band, and stood as still as a statue, staring at me, teasing and tempting me to fire in what would certainly end his life. I resisted, though, in respect for his master as well as admiration for his courage, and have not seen him since.

But alas, in a strange twist of fate, the moment I wrote that last sentence the enemy appeared, buzzing quickly over my head. The time has come, the signal has been sent, and I know what I have to do.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of Flykiller: The One That Almost Got Away.

Posted by jed at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)